Who thinks they are a writer? – Jo Parfitt’s Monthly Inspirer November 2019

The inspiring bit – Being a real author 1/11/2019

​At the end of last month I had the pleasure of hosting new author, Mariam Ottimofiore, for her book tour of the Netherlands. Her book, This Messy Mobile Life, was published earlier this year and, after launches in Bangkok, Dubai and Accra, it was our turn. I invited her to speak at a pot luck lunch at my home directly after one of my free monthly Writers’ Circles. She agreed wholeheartedly and so, almost 20 people crammed into my sitting room to hear her talk about how to move from writer to blogger and why it should be something to think about.

“Who thinks they are a writer?” was her opening gambit.

About four raised their hands and one of them was me! What? I thought. Fifteen of them had just attended Writers’ Circle. Some of them have been coming along for more than ten years and they still don’t think they are a writer.

“Who invests in themselves as writers?” was her next question.

Three raised hands. Again one was mine.

So, they attend Writer’s Circle. They write and share at least two pieces of writing each time and yet they don’t believe they are investing in themselves as writers?  And yet believing you are a writer and investing in yourself as a writer are connected, surely? It stands to reason that if you write occasionally just for the fun of it then that must mean you are a little bit of a writer. A writer is someone who writes. Period. Who said that you need to be published in a newspaper, perhaps, or have a book deal with a publisher to be a real writer? I certainly didn’t. 

But then Mariam hit on the nub of the matter, going on to discuss Imposter Syndrome and how not really believing you are any good seems to go with the territory of being an artist –  painter, dancer, actor or writer. I believe that it is this inbuilt humility that makes you sharper. Makes you work harder and recognise that you are only ever really as good as your last piece of work. Mariam, who blogs very successfully at www.andthenwemovedto.com, believes that if we blog we should not judge our writing by the number of likes we get but by the number of shares and the comments we elicit. In other words it’s about the engagement we have with our readers.

A writer is someone is writes but they are never going to know if they are any good unless someone else reads it or listens to it and gives feedback. Those comments and shares are feedback. They are fuel for the writer. And, for many of us, receiving them goes some way towards believing we deserve to call ourselves writers. Attending a Writers’ Circle can tick this box too. For, if it is any good, the meetings should foster live engagement, sharing and feedback.

Surely then, attending a writing club or circle is a way of investing in yourself as a writer, isn’t it? Even if you only write for a few minutes each time. You see, even if you only move your pen across a page for ten minutes those ten minutes are an investment that will move you closer to that elusive self-belief.

When Mariam asked those questions I think the audience believed that ‘being a writer’ meant more than what they do already. I disagree. I think they believed that ‘investing in yourself’ meant more than giving yourself a few minutes alone with a pen and paper. I disagree. Sure, it can also mean that you pay to attend courses or attend writing retreats. But doesn’t buying a book on writing count? Doesn’t appreciating the writing craft in the novel you are reading count? Doesn’t making up a poem about the way the rain runs down the windowpane count? Doesn’t attending an author reading count? 

Earlier that morning several of the attendees burst into spontaneous tears, moved by their own writing or by another’s or, in at least one case, moved from the joy of words written and shared. Wasn’t that, then, investment? Weren’t those attendees who took two or three hours from their busy schedules that day investing in themselves and thus that makes them writers… just a little bit?

So, let me ask those questions again and add one more of my own:

“Are you a writer?”

“Do you invest in yourself as a writer?”

“What are you going to do this month to invest in yourself as a writer?”


The connecting bit

Have you ever subscribed to a writing magazine? I have. Over the years I have taken Writing Magazine, The Writer, MslexiaGranta and Poetry MagazineI have found them not only to be valuable sources of advice but also of interviews with amateur and professional published writers. Importantly for me, when I was starting out, it was the source of new markets and competitions that was the main reason I took out subscriptions. For any writer there is nothing so compelling as a focus, a deadline and a word count to get the creative juices flowing. I know that, today, blogs are a great source of inspiration and content but, for me, there is nothing like the print version of a publication. As for the classifieds sections, they are always worth a read. 


Parting piece

I don’t know about you, but I do love a memoir. They are not the easiest genre to write because even though you are writing about real life you still need to have a plot and characters. You need to set scenes and evoke atmospheres that will be so familiar to you that it is hard to see them with fresh enough eyes to recreate them effectively for your readers. And, as for dialogue, it is phenomenally hard to remember what people said verbatim and how they said it and then write it down so it sounds natural. So, when I noticed that Tracey Thorn and her partner, Ben Watt, the two halves of one of my favourite bands, Everything But the Girl, had written memoirs, I decided to read both of them back to back and compare. Okay, so it’s not very fair of me to do that, but then I did know they both studied English at Hull university. I know this because they were contemporaries of mine and I saw them now and again on campus. I also know I love their songs and am particularly drawn to Tracey’s lyrics. They had also both gone on to write more than one memoir, so if the publishers liked their work their readers must have done so too. I was hopeful. 

I read Ben’s first. Romany and Tom. His parents. I bought it without reading the blurb and was slightly taken aback to realise this was a book about the last few weary years of his parents’, Romany and Tom’s, lives. They were old, feeble and sick, so it’s hardly an attractive topic, but this book gives a snapshot of a life stage we will all go through once as our parents age and again as we age ourselves. It resonated big time. Tracey and the couple’s three children feature as shadowy characters as does Ben’s own career but this is a book about his parents, his half-gypsy journalist mother and his now washed-up big band leader father, and their demise. Despite the maudlin topic, this is a great example of a book that stands squarely on its voice, for Ben is a terrific writer with a wonderful way with words. I could not put it down.

Tracey’s was next and frankly, despite the fact that she has an MA in English and is the pair’s lyricist, her memoir, Bedsit Disco Queen, is totally different. It is solely about her music career – and what a career it has been.  I’m no musician and so it didn’t resonate quite like Ben’s. That Tracey has a plot is not in dispute and we are compelled to read on to find out what happened between then and now and how they reached such meteoric heights when Tracey had little confidence in her ability. I guess she can’t hear what we hear. That she can write is a given, but she handles narrative very differently from Ben, returning to her diaries, written at a time when she was less polished but no less honest. As she matures, so does the book and her writing comes into its own. I’m left impressed at how she handled times when memory’s vague knowing that it had to be there; the fan reader really does want to know about the days before the band and how this quirky punk from Hatfield rose above other wannabes.

To me, Tracey and Ben come as a pair and have always come as a pair. They have lived and worked together since they were 19. They ‘walk the same line’ as Tracey sang in We Walk The Same Line in 1994. While they often tell the same story, having both lived it, they do so very differently. Their voices are different. They alight on different aspects of the same story and they tell it their way.

So, when you consider how you might tackle writing your own memoir, I invite you to consider how you might choose to tell it – like Ben, who expands a short space of time into his 350 page memoir, or Tracey, who packs over 25 years into hers.


On sale soon – The Life Story Jar

The soft launch of this 12-week programme goes on sale this month with a very special offer to my subscribers allowing you to buy one for yourself and gift one to a friend. Selling for £199 this could be the perfect Christmas present for your parent, partner or friend. 

Delivered to your email inbox on a weekly basis, the course is suitable for everyone with a story to tell and a history worth preserving.​​


What’s on in November

WHEN: Friday 22nd November, 10:00-12:30 
WHAT: Writers’ Circle
WHERE: Jo’s house, Archipel, The Hague
COST: Free
ENQUIRE: Email Jo