A little lockdown poetry inspired by Roger McGoughLike many of us, when lockdown hit I decided it was time to adjust my business a little and take my writers’ circles online. I’ve been running a writers’ circle for about 30 years now, mostly from home. I would keep the format the same. First we do a ten-minute speedwrite and then share our writing. Next I set a ten-minute task and we share that. Last week, I decided we’d work on rhythm and asked them to rewrite their own versions of Roger McGough’s poem Today is Not a Day for Adultery. The poem, albeit slightly saucy, explains how it may not be sensible to visit your lover’s house when it’s raining because you run the risk of catching flu. Instead, our lover is urged to stay home. #stayathome
I asked my students to retain the same basic form and rhythm while exchanging some of McGough’s words for their own. They could also pick their own theme, though inevitably many used the current Coronavirus pandemic. The task proved to be a lot of fun and a welcome distraction from the testing times in which we find ourselves. Our versions began: Today is not a day for rejoicing Today is not a day for teetotalism Today is not a day for promises Today is not a day for working from home And Today is now a day for adultery And many more During the course of the week, students began sharing their versions via email, one shared hers on Facebook, others asked their friends to have a go too. I wondered whether maybe we were onto something? Just ask, folks I wondered whether maybe even more people would have their spirits lifted by reading our poems or by writing their own? But I’m not naïve. I know about intellectual property and plagiarism, so I managed to track Roger down via his agent and asked his permission to do just this on my blog. He generously and graciously agreed. Yes folks I am delighted to say that Roger McGough, fellow Hull University alumnus, Liverpool poet and one-time member of The Scaffold (remember Lily The Pink?) has been emailing little old me. So this, here, is what I have done with massive thanks to Roger. Roger’s version is below, followed by my own version and then some by my students and friends. MY POETRY CHALLENGE: Will you be inspired enough to add your own version of the poem to the comments section on this blog? Thank you @mcgoughroger Today is not a day for adultery Today is not a day for adultery. The sky is a wet blanket Being shaken in anger. Thunder Rumbles through the streets Like malicious gossip. Take my advice: braving The storm will not impress your lover When you turn up at the house In an anorak. Wellingtons, Even coloured, seldom arouse. Your umbrella will leave a tell-tale Puddle in the hall. Another stain To be explained away. Stay in, Keep your mucus to yourself. Today is not a day for sin. Best pick up the phone and cancel. Postpone until the weather clears. No point in getting soaked through. At your age, a fuck’s not worth The chance of catching flu. © Roger McGough So, now, would you like to see our versions? Today is Not a Day for a Bunk-up Today is not a day for a bunk-up. My fat belly’s a turn off That will wobble in foreplay. Disgust Trembles through my thighs As I lie there. Take my advice: eating Six Hobnobs will not impress your lover When you turn towards him in bed In a track suit. Nylon Induced electricity’s just not the same. Your M&S Shapewear’s a clue To your expanding waistline. Stay slim Move your cravings to the bedroom. No, today is not another day for gin. Best switch that butter for Outline Don’t leave the diet til the virus clears No point social distancing your mate. At your age, a fuck’s more than worth The sacrifice of cake. Jo Parfitt Today is Now a Day for Adultery Today is now a day for adultery. The sky is a wet dreamer Being shaken in desires. Thunder Rumbles through the thighs Like malicious intent. Take my advice: riding the storm will now impress your lover When you turn up at his house In a negligee and wellingtons Brightly colored, surely arouse His orgasm will leave a tell-tale Puddle in the hall. Another stain To be unexplained. Stay in, Keep your juices for yourselves. Today is now a day for sin. Best lift up the sheets and dive in. Consume until the weather clears. No shame in getting soaked through. At your age, a fuck's so worth The chance of catching crabs. JS Today is Not a Day for Teetotalism Today is not a day for teetotalism. The husband is a wet blanket Being shaken in anger. Thunder Rumbles through the children Like malicious gossip. Take my advice: denying yourself alcohol will not impress your neighbours When police turn up at the house In a panda car. Bodies in the veg patch, Even given extenuating circumstances, seldom result in a mere caution. Your abstinence will leave a tell-tale Surplus in the drinks’ cabinet. Another unopened bottle To be explained away. Stay in, Keep your chardonnay to yourself. Today is not a day for temperance. Best pick up the phone and order a case. Imbibe until the weather clears. No point in staying sober. At your age, it’s not fucking worth The possibility of murdering your family. Susan Boyd Today is Not a Day for Promises Today is not a day for promises For pledges need a future And security of soul To glide towards eternity And linger there, sublime. Believe me I would gladly Promise you the universe If you and I could reach that goal. Yet, since tomorrow may not come, I will not promise thus. Your face I kiss but only For a fleeting hour or so. Tomorrow I’ll be but a memory Of blissful solace yet it’s Joy that will not come again. This hour is not an hour for promises For time is still and motionless today. But when it’s passed, I’ll Hold your kiss and understand My promise is fulfilled in you. Lesley Today is Not a Day for Working From Home Today is not a day for working from home The sky is a glorious blue colouring the sea. The wind whistles through the land Making its own music Take my advice. Working at your desk will not impress your manager when you submit your report in a rush. A Zoom call showing your pale, tired face won’t help. Your puffy eyes will leave a tell tale screen shot on display. Another sign to be explained away, Go out. Get some fresh air in your lungs Today is not a day for work Best pick up the phone and cancel Postpone until the weather’s bad No point in getting stressed out. At your age, work’s not worth the risk of heart attacks. Geraldine Bown Today’s Not a Day for the Dentist Today is not a day for the dentist. My mouth is a hot blanket Being shaken with pain. Virus Bumbles through my veins Malicious invaders. Take my advice: breaking Lockdown will not impress or relieve The pain. Turning up at with a Virus filled mask. Even trying Bribing with cash won’t avail. Your saliva will leave a fatal Puddle on the drill. Another sin That can slay. So stay in, Keep your mucus to yourself. Today is not a day to kill. Best pick up the phone and cancel. Postpone to flatten the curve. No point infecting others. At your age, false teeth beckon. So, numb it with wine instead. Sarah Today is Not a Day for Reminiscing Today is not a day for reminiscing We mustmove on Quivering through the Covid. Grouchy, We Grumble – ‘stay in’ No street life to roam. Listen to me stay home – embrace a cosy nineteen. Forget the Covid, Corona coronary collapsing, calculating killer. Keep your rubbers on. Coloured will do. Pop up the umbrella and leave a stain. Share the mucus, you and your love, for todays the day for cosy nineteen. Pick up the silks and satin sunny or grey, don’t wait for another day. Get soaked, cause at our age cosy nineteen, may not, again be seen Caron Moran Today is Not a Day for Labouring Today is not a day for labouring Because the sun is bright Its golden rays beam down, warming the streets and buildings Encouraging folks to chat Listen to me and wonder The glow will lift your hearts Open your doors and windows Throw off your coats and scarves Feel your body come to life Your sunshade will leave a shadow Yet still you will be warm Nature is so wonderful, go out And feel its glow Today is not for labouring Pick up the phone and call your friends Before the weather changes Tell them time is precious and we really need to party Before we miss the chance! Vivien Today is Not a Day for Day Dreaming Today is not a day for day dreaming Time change has proven that Being shaken with summer clock hour Missing the day twice Like gaps in my headache Take my advice: Breathe on The havoc will impress on you that Calm is the best way to go Nobody died, that’s the good news That’s my new benchmark in life now Your mindfulness is what’s important Muddle on and savour every day Life is way too precious today Keep remembering this fact Embrace and love like it’s your last CieSaw MY POETRY CHALLENGE: Will you be inspired enough to add your own version of the poem to the comments section on this blog? #writingprompt #quarantineandchill #lockdownpoems #todayisnotaday #writingcommunity
4 Comments
|
Jo Parfitt's Monthly InspirerSign up to my Monthly Inspirer and receive a complimentary copy of my Inspirer Collection. Your email will only ever be used to send you my Inspirer and you can unsubscribe at any time. See my privacy policy for more information.
Archives
January 2021
Categories
All
|