There’s a spring in our step today, the sun is shining (for us, at least), and we can’t stop smiling. Why? It’s because Summertime Publishing has successfully achieved its first ever online book launch, and boy was it an occasion! With over 30 viewers from the USA, the UK, Switzerland, India, Spain and more, we had a truly international team of literary cheerleaders, afficionados and travel veterans gathered to celebrate the release of Rhoda Bangerter’s new book, Holding the Fort Abroad (Summertime Publishing: 2021).

Part memoir, part self-help guide, part global investigation, Holding the Fort is written for the ‘at home’ expat parent and offers practical advice on how to deal with the unique problems they face. Being away from extended family and friends, living cross-culturally, abandoning personal careers, and often having to solo-parent when the partner is away are just a few of the problems these partners face. The stress, loss of identity, and emotional burdens this can cause are identified and solutions offered to help prepare for, and cope with, these extraordinary challenges. Blending emotionally charged sketches of Rhoda’s own experiences with research of larger trends, heaps of professional psychological advice and nifty parenting tips, Holding the Fort Abroad should shine a light on an issue seldom discussed in expat literature.

Of course, in preparing this launch, there was a big, global-pandemic sized elephant in the chatroom. So how did we do it?
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The secret lay in the planning. A traditional book launch will take place in a shared venue space where everyone can soak in the atmosphere of excitement and passion for the new book. Conversation bubbles in the background, stray laughter echoes from different huddles, fresh drinks and some strange salmon-y delicacies you’ve never seen before are handed around on plates as everyone prepares for the book reading and goes away later that evening eagerly clutching their signed copies.
The pandemic, obviously, restricts some of this, but the move online also opens up the possibility of transforming your book launch into a truly international event, drawing in friends, family, and curious customers from all over the world. At the end of the day, is there anything more appropriate for the expat community?
Nevertheless, an atmosphere is needed, and so it was an atmosphere we got. Summertime’s designer, Cath Brew, concocted the most fantastic icebreaker to get everyone in the mood. Drawing on the domestic themes of Rhoda’s book, each guest at the launch was invited to say one sentence about expat life whilst Cath eagerly scribbled something off-camera. We dreamed in different languages, heaped praise upon our cats, and celebrated the days when we just had clean underwear for our children. At the end, Cath held up a freshly illustrated rendition of the patchwork life stitched together out of our separate stories. See it for yourself!

With everyone relaxed, grinning, and just a bit tipsy, Vivian Chiona (who penned the foreword) offered us an introduction to Rhoda’s book and why it matters. “Holding the Fort,” she told us, “empowers the partner and recognises their experience. What this book does is crucial because it allows the voice of expat partners to be heard. And it’s about time, because they are the heroes behind the scenes.” This was followed by some select readings by Rhoda herself, before photos were taken of our online gathering and we transitioned into a question-and-answer session with the audience.

There were many great questions and responses. We discussed the taboo against being able to discuss emotional difficulties and social burdens amidst the privileges of an international lifestyle, the need to strategize your schedule and make time for your own needs, and the challenges Rhoda faced in investigating this under-researched topic.

Of course, this is normally the point where an author would thud a box of books onto a creaking table and begin signing and selling them to the gathered audience. Scientists haven’t quite figured out how to scribble inscriptions across a Zoom call, but Rhoda came up with a brilliant alternative. Anyone who bought a copy of the book online during the event had their order noted, with a signed bookmark being included with their delivery whilst the person who asked the best question would win a free life coaching session with the author herself.

As the evening wound down into the afterparty, people were free to stay and chat or wander back to holding their own forts. It was a wonderful evening with so many participants from around the world all coming together to make it happen. There can be little doubt that Vivian’s description of Holding the Fort’s key message has a wider pertinence to this success: “Although your partner may be absent, love is not gone, and is never gone.”

The pandemic may be doing its best to keep us apart, but Rhoda’s words have brought us together.
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Holding the Fort Abroad (246 pp.) is available in paperback and eBook formats from Summertime Publishing. Purchase links can be found on the ExpatBookshop website.

​The coronavirus pandemic has made us all do things differently. Had it not been for social distancing I would never have taken my writing classes online and found a whole new audience.
 
This month, Rhoda Bangerter, life coach at www.amulticulturallife.com,  celebrates the arrival of her first book.  Holding the Fort Abroad, beyond surviving – living and parenting abroad with a partner who works away from home is a remarkable achievement and will have been written, edited, designed, published and launched during the pandemic. Writing a book alone is a milestone, but Rhoda has done this with her husband working overseas, while homeschooling her boys (aged nine and 13) and without any childcare help. Oh, and while she is living in abroad herself too!
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​“It’s about finding shortcuts wherever you can,” she tells me. “It wasn’t elegant but we ate off paper plates last summer just to save me the dishes.”
 
When you write a book you need a support team around you. Yet Rhoda had no access to real live people, no family, no friends in her own home at a time when she had a 50,000 words to write.
 
“My assistant, Hannah, had to start helping me out virtually as much as she could,” Rhoda explains. “I delegated to my husband, even though he was away, as much as possible too.” There were plenty things he could do at a distance, particularly helping to co-parent the boys.
 
While she admits that screens were often her best babysitter and she had to learn to ask for help, it was only when she allowed herself to count in the scheme of things that things got easier. “When the boys were in bed I knew that I had a choice of doing three things: to go to bed, to do chores, or to write. So I did each of them in rotation. That really worked for me,” she says.
 
“The pandemic made things more difficult than ever,” she tells me. “I soon realised that many more families than just mine were split because of the travel restrictions so I started a Facebook group (www.facebook.com/amulticulturallife) and encouraged others to share their tips for solo-parenting. One woman told me that she would grab half an hour’s peace by putting her toddler in the playpen with the laptop so her absent husband could read a story over the internet.” Starting the Facebook group has put Rhoda in the fortunate position of spreading the news about her book to more people in more countries than she would have done without it.
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Takes place Friday April 16th at 18:00 UK time
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With her website designer, proof reader, editor, illustrator, graphic designer and virtual assistant all just a Zoom call away, the book was published absolutely to schedule. Now it’s the final hurdle of a book launch, which has caused her to think differently yet again. A virtual book launch has been organised, with the entire publishing team able to be present despite physical distance. Guests can join the fun from all over the world and unlike in-person events, there are no catering costs and no limited seating. Want to see how it’s done and join in the fun? Please pre-register here.

Well, Rhoda has thought about that one too and has decided that anyone who has pre-ordered the book or picked up a copy from her in person, will be posted a ‘goodie bag’ after the event that will contain a signed bookmark you can slip into your book, a special coaching offer and much more. Of course, her virtual assistant, Hannah, will be the one to organise all that for her.
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​We’ve all had to learn to do things differently over the last year and some things have been more than a struggle than others. Sometimes, as seen here, good things come out of bad and Holding the Fort Abroad is no exception. It’s available for pre-order now on Amazon.
 

Have you discovered my In Conversation Masterclasses yet? They are a great way to learn from the professionals and ask them questions. All ICMs can be found on the Virtual Events page of www.joparfitt.com and on YouTube. Please subscribe to my channel to make sure you don’t miss out on past events.
 
In Conversation Masterclasses are free of charge for now and take place one or twice a month at 14:00 UK time. Go ahead and register for the next ones here.
 
On February 18th, 2021, I had the privilege of chatting to the procrastinator-defeater that is Jacinta Noonan of https://platformbe.com/.
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​Full disclosure here, Jacinta and I have been close friends for over twenty years. She was even with me on my first ever ‘Release the Book Within’ course, after which she completed and published her first book, My Perfect Weight. Believe me when I say that she is a wonderful writer with a lot to say. Having trained as a Life Coach (now specialising in adult ADHD), an executive coach company trainer, a school teacher, and wielding a psychology degree, Jacinta has achieved highly despite being a serial procrastinator. Last week she joined me to discuss some of the tricks she’s developed over the years to deal with that nasty monkey that sits on your shoulder and tells you to do the washing up instead of writing. Here are eight things I learned:
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​“The thing that gets in the way of my writing is that I have a thousand ideas at once,” Jacinta explains. For many writers with ADHD, sitting down to write a blog on a topic can set up a domino effect. “One thought will trigger another, that itself births another, and another after that, with tangent building on tangent until you end the writing session no further than when you started,” she explains. Despite having enough material to fill four or five posts, the focus is so scattered that little of the original idea is left intact.
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​This non-productive productivity encourages negative thoughts as you berate yourself for not staying on track. As we all know, misery loves to replicate itself, setting impossible standards of perfection that make you even more upset when you fail to meet them. These fast and raging thoughts continue to swirl around until you’re overwhelmed and mentally exhausted by them, which makes it difficult to pick up the pieces and find a way to continue the project, let alone start a new one confidently.
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When working with clients, the first thing Jacinta does is find out what is triggering their procrastination. If the problem is not knowing where to start, she guides them towards making a roadmap. If their goal is too big, she teaches them how to break it down into more viable chunks, such as writing one chapter or one anecdote over a day. If they suffer from imposter syndrome, then she stresses the importance of our unique subjectivity. Sometimes believing that “you’re enough, your voice is important, and the way you come at a topic is all that’s needed.”
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​However, if a client dithers about whether or not they are ‘in the mood’ to write, then Jacinta has less sympathy. “It’s a job,” she says, approvingly quoting Stephen King’s famously stern approach from On Writing, “you sit down and write every day. […] If I’m a bus driver I don’t wake up in the morning and say, ‘Well I don’t feel like being a bus driver today…’” Discipline is a muscle that must be constantly exercised to stay in shape, and often motivation is less important than habit. “Committing, and then staying with your commitment,” is a tough principle to follow, but writing something, even if only for ten minutes at a time, will ensure that the cumulative effect of your writing eventually adds up to a finished project.
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​When faced with a crisis over her current book, Jacinta came up with an elegant solution by asking herself, “What is my why? Why did I want to write this book? Why do I want to say this? Why does it have to be said?” The effect was one of instant clarity as the question forced her to return to the core of her topic and find whether or not its importance still rang true to her. It is a simple question, but having the bravery to confront it honestly can cause a great boost in confidence and motivation if the ‘Why’ holds up, or else help us cut our losses and move on to a new project if it does not.

​“Kids, commitments, partners, volunteer work, our boss nagging at us, cleaning the house – all of these things can get in the way,” Jacinta points out. “I think a lot of us do not give ourselves permission to write.” Writing (at its best) often feels so wonderful that it can be tempting to tell ourselves that it isn’t really work, but it is, and we need to have the confidence to make both ourselves and others to respect our writing time, with all the responsibilities and requirements that this entails. Keep telling yourself that “I am a writer,” claim it as part of your identity, and eventually the energies of that procrastination monkey can be redirected into your work as a simultaneously serious and fun activity.

Jacinta’s final point provides an unexpected, but insightful twist on our discussion. “Sometimes procrastination is a good thing. If you’ve ever noticed when you’re stuck and you go do something practical […] suddenly, what you’re working on has had time to bubble around as you ponder and think,” she says, explaining that your creative self continues to process ideas in the background, often offering a solution by the time you return to the desk to write. Of course, the trick is that you have to return to that desk, but if you do, then a little procrastination can be forgiven. We are only human after all.
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I want to thank Jacinta for talking with me. The complete video of our conversation can be found here, and her blog can be found here.
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This post has been collated by our intern, Charlie Wellings, who is helping us to produce more content to inspire your writing.

​Have you discovered my In Conversation Masterclasses yet? They are a great way to learn from the professionals and ask them questions. All ICMs can be found on the Virtual Events page of www.joparfitt.com and on YouTube. Please subscribe to my channel to make sure you don’t miss out.
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In Conversation Masterclasses are free of charge for now and take place one or twice a month at 14:00 UK time. Go ahead and register for the next ones here.
On 4th February I had the privilege of chatting to a trio of new memoirists.

​For this In Conversation Masterclass I decided to do something different and invited three memoirists for a group discussion of the craft. I was joined by Margaret Ghielmetti, author of Brave(ish): A memoir of a Recovering Perfectionist (which I reviewed here), Doreen M. Cumberford, author of Life in the Camel Lane, and Jo Weaver, author of 100 Days in Spain: Diary of a Lockdown. Though their books varied wildly in subject and scope, their journeys to publication shared many of the same challenges that any author can learn from. Here are a few of them.

All three of my guests found themselves stumbling into the memoir format. Jo’s book developed out of a blog she wrote to relieve stress during lockdown that soon earned her an unexpected audience of two thousand readers. This success led her to combine her pieces in one volume in time for Christmas. “I thought [that] we’d never see this again and soon everything’s going back to normal,” she chuckles, admitting that she assumed the blog would be irrelevant by January. Of course, quite the opposite happened and, far from being an ephemeral project, her book has remained relevant far beyond the holiday season.

Margaret, on the other hand, only realised that she was really writing a memoir in the middle of developing a solo show using old trip reports she used to send to her parents. On realising this, she took a course called “Memoir in a Year” at StoryStudio Chicago to sharpen her skills for this new form, after which she hired the writing coach. Once she saw the shape her story was taking, she put everything into developing its potential, even though she had not originally intended to write a memoir.
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Meanwhile, Doreen, well…

Instead, it’s possible to make your own. Minutes into our conversation, Doreen delighted the group by coining a phrase, ‘Learnoir’ to describe her own work. Eager to situate her story in the environment around her and the people she interviewed, she was keen to make her own form of memoir where one was not already available. “It’s based on stories, events, and lessons learned,” she explains, “because although it is a memoir with a lot of insights, it’s also [got] a lot of life lessons that are baked into it.”
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In the spirit of this neologism, it’s worth sharing a word that can describe Jo’s book as well, since blogs that are transformed into books are often called ‘Blooks’. Later on Doreen whipped up another phrase, ‘slowmading’ to describe her style of nomadic living as she and her husband house and pet sit around the world and writing. So if you don’t think your book quite fits a pre-existing genre, remember that you are a creator, and you can always make your own!

When it comes to writing, every author has their horror stories, and every published writer a tale of how they got through it. Jo was both blessed and cursed by the requirement that she write and publish something every day, but she managed this by using her non-writing time to think about her upcoming post. “Whilst I was writing, walking miles to the supermarket every day, [etc], I was thinking about the blogs so that when I sat down I could just do it.”
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Margaret’s method was more dangerous, and I don’t dare write it down here. (Though I can tell you to listen in around the 13:30 mark!) Once she had this motivation, however, she was dogged in her determination, and mentions a useful piece of advice a friend offered about how a writer should treat themselves at the keyboard like one of their favourite dogs, “Say ‘sit’, and stay.”

One of the problems Jo faced on returning to her blog posts was how much repetition she found between them. Certain topics recurred again and again throughout her hundred days that had to be edited out for the new book format. “You have to write what people want to read, not what you want to write,” is her advice. In this vein, a friend suggested inventing events to spice things up, but Jo wanted keep faith with her readers, regardless of the challenges this caused.

The challenge of editing is one all of my guests could agree on.

“My book was written over a period of about ten years,” Doreen tells us, adding that over one hundred and ten thousand words were left on the cutting room floor. In future she is determined to pare down her writing from the get-go, to “be very specific, and deliver one or two or three messages, not fifteen!” (She neglects to mention until prompted that Life in the Camel Lane won third place in the CIPA (Colorado Independent Publishing Awards) in recognition of its editing process.)

“Thank god for editors, right?” Margaret laughs when I ask about her coach. She and Jo both point out how they find it easy to edit other people’s work, but those skills become much more difficult when it’s your own baby on the chopping block. With three people working with her as developmental editors to help her find the arc and themes of her work, her main editor played a phenomenal role not just in advising on the memoir but on looking after her as a writer. “I would not have wanted to do this book without her,” Margaret admits:
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“She was such an incredible cheerleader. When I was losing heart, she would say to me, ‘I get it, you’re on the ground, I’m in the treetop. I can see it coming together. Keep going.’ When I was writing about my parents and all I did was cry for days on end, she would say ‘Stop writing about your parents for a while.’ She was fantastic on an emotional level as much as anything.”

Humans are social creatures, and so any story about ourselves is necessarily also about the people we who surround us. The decision to be honest about our lives will inevitably include our version of events concerning other people. We have to be careful how we handle that responsibility. Margaret ensured her husband read every word she wrote about him before she sent any of it anywhere, but with people a little further away that can become a little tricky. As deadlines loomed, she had to remove some passages after friends asked her not to talk about certain delicate topics in countries where they still lived. A few funny stories were thereby lost to avoid causing trouble. Doreen’s interviewing and Jo’s domestic narratives raised the same delicate questions, and they remain an important caveat for any memoirist to keep in mind as they write their story.

I want to thank Jo, Doreen, and Margaret for talking with me. The complete video of our conversation can be found here, and their websites are:
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• Jo Weaver - http://jwa.cz/
• Doreen Cumberford - https://doreenmcumberford.com/
• Margaret Ghielmetti - https://margaretghielmetti.com/

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This post has been collated by our intern, Charlie Wellings, who is helping us to produce more content to inspire your writing.