It’s February. That means Valentine’s Day. I don’t think I have ever written about love in my inspirer before so I decided to rise to the challenge and give the topic a go today.

Rumi wrote:

“Let the beauty you love be what you do.”

Which makes me think of those friends of mine (you know who you are, and your names begin with J) who are suffering from writer’s block.  You know, when I have found the words I am battling with as tough as wading through treacle the reason has often been that I actually don’t love it enough. Writing that particular piece does not make my heart sing.

I believe that my best writing emerges when I write about something that matters. Something from the heart. Writing from the heart does not necessarily mean that I should be writing something that makes me happy. No. For me, writing from the heart is about writing something that makes my heart thump a little louder, a little heavier, while I do so.

Rumi suggests that we writers should write about the things we consider beautiful. A sunset is beautiful. A newborn baby is beautiful. That sight of my latest book on my bookshelf is beautiful.

But bad things can be beautiful too. There is beauty in loss and grief and sadness.  Some pain can be exquisite in its intensity. The memory of the life we once led and lost in the Middle East hurts in almost a good way. I left a piece of my heart there you see as I left a piece of my heart in every place I loved. My writing about those places is the stronger for it. Why else do you think I based my novel, Sunshine Soup in Dubai?

Not all love poems are about good times, reciprocated feelings and happy endings. Many are also about loss and separation and hopelessness. Yet this does not stop them being beautiful and it does not stop your enjoyment of them.

Recently, I have been helping one of my clients to write her memoir. In one chapter I was moved to tears by her story of her father’s death. Her writing was tender and moving. She had written it from a place of love and a place of passion and it was amongst the best material she had ever produced.

So, I challenge you now to take a new look at Rumi’s words and consider the following:

“Let the beauty you love be what you write.”

Go on, now pick up your pen. Write something that matters so much that it makes your heart beat. Do it for Valentine’s Day.

I am delighted to welcome a one-time client of mine, Morgana Morgaine, to guestpost for me today. Her recently published book is a goodie and her story will inspire any of you out there who are stuck in a rut or think you may be too old to make a change and do what you love. If you love playing with words then  the way she writes will delight you as much as it delighted me. You could eat them!

Morgana here, I just published a new book:

“Borderless Broads, New Adventures for the Midlife Woman”

I wrote bravely and boldly in “Borderless Broads” because I chose to write from what has moved me, inspired me, been a source of spiritual hunger for me, and —made me laugh in life.  I chose to tackle a few “issues” that have always been sources of “I wonder why this is the way it is and how could it be done differently”.

My own midlife striptease preceded writing the book in order to cast off (as best I could) many of the learned domestications that get in the way of an honest and energetic voice.

I wrote about woman “eating her wildness” and then I wrote how I really feel about “things”, world things, spirit things, inner things.  Listening for what wanted to be said…..

So, the book is about unzipping all those parts of yourself that you have kept under wraps and choosing to change your experiences  in midlife —asking yourself,  “if not now, when?”

It’s about borderless as a state of mind. A state of mind that calls you to become less identity bound and more focused on who you really are rather than who you were trained to be.

As a writer, borderless mind requires fearless and fierce in what you say, what you write and how you choose to experience experience.

A mentor once told me that the reason we don’t all “see” the same thing or react to the same things is because what we selectively see is ours, ours to respond to, ours to engage with in some unique way; the foundation for making a difference.

It is a kind of call to creative action.

For writers, this call is to speak boldly and bravely, clearly communicating our connection to whatever the “it” is in our writing;  to share our “take” on life experience, to take an energetic stand so the reader can find us in the writing!

Neutrality lacks bravery. I see it as a bland entrenchment in the trance of social agreements!

So, what helps brave writing? Humor helps.  Courageous conversations help.  Writing about what really moves you helps.  Putting your instincts and intuition first and your intellect second helps.

Asking just whose voice is running your writing helps.

So, as a writer, are you eating your wildness or are you writing so as to LIVE LIFE FULL OUT?

“A woman needs a little madness or else she never dares cut the rope and be free!”

(Zorba the Greek with a bit of gender change!)

And oh, never underestimate the power of humor to inspire bravery in us all!

Morgana@MorganaMorgaine.com/www.MorganaMorgaine.com

“Borderless Broads” available on Amazon.com

I am delighted to have my friend and fellow walk-in-the-woods mate, Kathy Voyles, to guestpost for me today. She is a writer through and through and we are always much moved, and often amused, by her writing at our monthly writers’ circle.

Last night she attended an event I wish I had been to too, and was both moved and inspired by The 11^th Pen Writers Awards

I like to think of myself as a writer for that’s what I spend most of my time doing. I’ve pretty well had a go at every sort of writing, editing newsletters on human rights issues  and self determination, writing on food issues, on travel, on death and dying, and am now having a bash at picture books for kids.

It’s hard sometimes, juggling children, managing houses, being chief cook and bottle-washer and sitting in front of a blank screen, waiting for words to come. It’s a lonely business spewing out words, but we do it because we must.

We must spin those words, play with them, push and pull them into place. We want to share them, too. I love my writers support group that allows me the joy of reading my words to real humans. Often, it’s that reading aloud which shows me what works, what doesn’t, what is meaningful, or what falls flat in the air. Sometimes our writing becomes therapy and is not really meant for others to hear but allows healing of self and soul. Those writings can be tucked away and left alone.

But the very main thing is I can write. I can write in the comfort of my office without fear and inquisition. I write in warmth, with white light and without putting myself or anyone else in danger (unless it’s from poor prose). What I write will not mean the pounding of fists on doors in the middle of the night,  or dank urine stained prison cells for my family, threats, torture, rape or slow death.

Do we writers realize what a luxury this is? Writing in the warmth?

No, I would say we do not, which is why I make a point to attend and support the International PEN Novib Writers Awards every year in the Netherlands and why I encourage you to, as well.  Every year this award touches my heart deeply and humbles me in every way – it makes me realize the resonance, power and the fear that words bring.

These words, say the authors on stage, must be written, even though every letter, every syllable, every sharing of them, spells danger for themselves and all around them.

This years winner Asieh Amini is from Iran, a journalist and poet who become an activist after she followed up the story of a 16 year old woman put to death for having sex outside marriage. She also campaigns on those sentenced to the hideously inhumane punishment of stoning.  She is now living in Norway after staying Iran became untenable for her and her family.

“Such cruelties must be written about. How can I be happy when children are being executed,” she says and begins to read her poems in her mother tongue.

Asieh’s poems are short and catch your soul.  Tears begin to flow from mine.

“You turn into a butterfly, I hang,” she writes as the young girl goes towards the hangman’s noose.

“The sun is slipping down the wall”

These lines and others need to be heard as often as we can bear, until these horrific acts are mere figments of history.

Each year, as I sit and listen to the stories of the writers who write in the cold winter of inhumanity, I wish there was no need for such Awards.

Alas that time will not come quickly for as Freedom House has reported that freedom of the press in the world is at its lowest ebb since records have begun. 23 journalists were killed on the job in Somalia.

We who write in the warmth must support those who write in fear and honesty. I encourage you therefore to attend the Winternacht festival and meet them, connect with them and bring their words into the world.

www.writersunlimited. Nl

January 20 – 22^nd at The Theatre Aan Het Spui The Hague, The Netherlands.

Kathy Voyles

“Foodie, Activist, Gardener, Speaker, Connector – A legend in her own lunch box”

See our brand new, bright, shiny blog http://schoollunchbox.wordpress.com

Jack Scott recently published his memoir, Perking the Pansies – Jack and Liam move to Turkey. In this candid interview he talks about how the book began as a blog after he and his partner, Liam, expatriated, and the methods he used to grow a blog that began seeing 5,000 hits a month and that has now increased to 13-18,000 a month. We discuss issues such as how he feels about baring his soul to the world, narcissism and why he chose to write, from the outset, under a pseudonym. This lively interview will interest anyone thinking of writing a memoir and will show how to use the power of social media and the blogosphere to achieve success.

You can find Jack on http://www.jackscott.info and http://www.perkingthepansies.com

Listen to the radio show here

Back in December I was invited to do a webinar on how to write a book for the European Professional Women’s Network. The sound quality is not brilliant, but you can hear me and the slides really add to the experience. The presentation takes about an hour followed by questions and answers.

Experience the webinar here to learn about:

• Why writing a book will boost your brand
• How writing a book can make you money
• What matters
• A bit about self-publishing methods
• Where to start
• and much more

Douglas John McLean Cairns used to hide behind the persona of Sid Ozalid, the one-legged tap dancing poet. It was as Sid that he became well known on radio and TV in the late 70s and early 80s and became part of the live comedy circuit. Today, he has come out as himself, admitting to his battles with dyslexia and depression and using his determination to be authentic in all areas of his life. As Douglas John McLean Cairns, he is an expat living the Hague and working on diversity and inclusiveness for an international oil company. As DJMC he is a role model for all those corporate beings who dare not admit they are musicians, sportsmen, writers, artists, ADD, or somehow not simply men or women in suits. Always and everywhere, he is now himself, still a poet, still a very funny man but now an inspiration to us all. In this incredible, heartwarming and inspiring interview the man who allows me to call him Douglie Wooglie Agogo, shares how the profits for his memoir-cum-poetry anthology go to charity, shares what matters to him and how he dared to be himself. At the very end of the interview he shares a poem, one that just won him an award from the dyslexia society. Be inspired. Be very inspired.

You can listen to the interview here

Wendy Williams is the author of the brand new, just released, hot off the press The Globalisation of Love, a book about multicultural romance and marriage. She has lived in six different countries and worked internationally for 18 years. Canadian and with an Austrian husband, she has been married for thirteen years, lives in Vienna, Austria and has one daughter.

See: www.globalisationoflove.com.

www.Facebook.com/globalisationoflove.com

twitter @globalisationoflove

JP

Tell me about your book. What is it about? Can you describe it in just a few sentences?

WW

The Globalisation of Love is about the whirls and twirls, the quirks and perks, the frustrations and the fun of a multicultural relationship. The book is based on dozens of interviews with multicultural couples from around the world.  It includes chapters on multicultural weddings, religion, race, food, language and children. It is both humorous and factual and I include personal anecdotes from my own experience in a multicultural family.  There is a world of romance happening out there and it is all captured in The Globalisation of Love.

JP

Why did you write it?

WW

Three reasons. Firstly, globalisation has been the buzz word of the past 20 years, yet little attention is given to the most profound influence of globalisation, which is the effect it has on people. People from everywhere are falling in love with people from everywhere else. Secondly, multiculturalism is another term that is bandied about to describe some kind of pesky nuisance to society, yet multicultural couples and families are constantly increasing and becoming a social norm. Thirdly, multicultural couples, what I call GloLo couples, get a lot of negative attention, like they are all destined to fail. In fact, most GloLo couples describe their multicultural relationship and experience as enlightening, enriching and the most amazing journey to take through matrimonial life.

JP

What qualifies you to write this book?

WW

I grew up in a multicultural family – a British-Ukrainian-Canadian family. I have been married to an Austrian for 13 years and have been living and working internationally for 18 years. What really qualifies me to write the book however, is the ability to see humour in the challenges of a GloLo relationship.

JP

Why do you think your book needed to be written? What will it do for other people? How will it help? Did you have any competition?

WW

It needed to be written for two main reasons. Firstly, it is important to recognise that a multicultural relationship is inherently different than a monocultural relationship. Multicultural couples have all the issues that exist in monocultural relationships, as well as whatever colourful combination of culture, language, religion and ethnicity the couple bring into their marriage. Secondly, the book outlines the issues in a multicultural marriage, so it helps GloLo couples to identify hot spots in the relationship that are culturally based. I wanted other GloLo couples to know that they are not alone and that there is a funny side to a GloLo marriage.

Yes, there is competition. There are many wonderful books about multicultural dating and marriage however The Globalisation of Love is the first book that is deliberately written with humour and wit.

JP

Who do you think will read your book? What made you think that there was a market for it? If your book has been out for a while, what proof do you have that you were right?

WW

Multicultural GloLo couples, and their friends and family will be interested in and benefit from reading The Globalisation of Love. Almost every knows someone or is related to someone in a GloLo relationship, therefore the book has a broad appeal. It is a topic that is starting to receive more media attention on multicultural royal weddings and GloLo celebrities, so it is becoming very chic to have an international marriage.

JP

It does not matter how good a book is, or how good your writing is if no one knows about it. What steps have you taken or do you plan to take to promote your book? Are you a speaker or trainer? Do you have a blog? A website? A newsletter? Do you use Facebook, Twitter or other social media tools? What about press releases and sending out review copies and free articles? Have you had any other ideas? Which methods do you think work best and can you give me any examples?

WW

The book is literally ‘hot off the press’ so the media promotional plan is still in the design phase. I haven’t even had time to have a book launch party yet! There is a new website and blog at www.globalisationoflove.com and you can follow The Globalisation of Love on Facebook and Twitter. I will be interviewed for different ezines and radio talk shows. I also look forward to the book signing and reading events.  It is nice to be with people and talk about their experience in a GloLo relationship. All the events will be posted on the website calendar.

JP

How did you publish your book? Did you find an agent, a publisher or did you publish it yourself? Please describe your process and tell us how you found the experience. Is there anything you would definitely do again or never do again?

WW

I took a middle road between self-publishing and traditional publishing and hired a book mentor and publisher. It was the right route for me to take because I had a ‘book coach’ to help me ‘find my voice’, develop a consistent writing style and create a format for the book and then to deal with the administrative side of publishing by listing the book on Amazon and writing the press release. Writing a book takes a long time and it is also a ‘personal journey’. Having a coach along the way was a great help!

JP

What was your biggest challenge regarding the writing of your book? How have you overcome that?

WW

The biggest challenge for me is that writing a book is a lonely path to go in life. I loved conducting the interviews with GloLo couples from all over the world but I spent most of my time writing, re-writing and re-writing some more.  I overcame the lonely factor by taking my ‘office’ to the Vienna coffee shops, hotel lobbies and even Starbucks. It’s a book about people and I liked having people in the background while I worked.

JP

Now you have written this book, what has writing it done for you, your family, your self-esteem or your business?

WW

The most noticeable difference for me and my family is that since I finished writing the book, I now take weekends off!

JP

If you were to give advice to someone else who is thinking about writing a book, what would be your number one tip?

Write about something that you are passionate about and like to talk about or read about all day long.

JP

And finally, how can people buy your book, in what formats, and what does it cost? Please include any links if you have them.

WW

The Globalisation of Love is available on Amazon and via www.expatbookshop.com for €19,99. An ebook will be available soon too.

In October, as you know, I went to the WIN conference in Rome. I love this event so much that I have attended nine times in the fourteen years it has been going. I wrote about this year’s experience for Andrea over at ExpatWomen, and it was published yesterday. To find out what WIN meant to us all this year, please take a look at my article. And if you want to see more evidence of what goes on then you need to see my posts about Where Words Meet Art and The Importance of Art too.

Every year that I attend WIN, it’s as if there is always a message lying there, just for me.

This year, that message was about the importance of art and beauty and about daring to be totally authentic, or, as Nancy J Adler, would say ‘to out my humanity’.

On the very first day, profoundly moved by the words heard on the keynote stage, I found I had written the following words on my notepad:

“Could I be the conference poet?”

My skin went cold as I typed those words for you just then. Expressing them fills me with fear. To share how much I love poetry is a difficult thing to do. As my vegetarian friend Kathy said to me the other day:

“Poetry is to some, what veganism is to others. Some people just do not get it.”

And that, I think is the reason why ‘outing’ myself as a poet is so very hard. I think that some of you will not like me any more if I confess to loving it.

At the conference, I realised that, to me, at least, writing poetry, is my meditation. It takes me away from everything and provides a sacred space.

On the last day of WIN, I heard Nancy J Adler speak about the importance of beauty and art to leadership. Nancy has produced a beautiful Leadership Insights journal, that I now own, crammed with insights and quotes as well as her own glorious watercolours. In these pages, she reminds us that, in the words of Rumi:

“Let the beauty you love be what you do.”

And so, here, for the first time, I will share with you the poem I wrote, inspired by Nancy and by WIN.

I hope you like it and that you still like me now that I am ‘out’.

What Matters

(for Nancy J Adler, after her closing keynote at WIN 2011)

Do you dare

to define your global legacy?

Do you have the courage

to ‘out’ your own humanity?

Do you dare

to be a mirror

to your soul and not

dazzled by the rampant myths

of individualism?

Do you believe

in MFA not MBA?

Do you have humility

not ego

and accept that it is up to you

to save our planet?

Come…

Step up to the plate,

past denial, anger, bargaining.

Depression never got things done.

Accept it.

We have run out of time.

All that’s left,

all that matters now –

is beauty.

It’s time to see the details

and the patterns in the details,

the details in the patterns.

To see truth

with your own eyes.

Only art has the power

to teach you how to see.

Again.

And when you can see again,

stop again.

And listen.

Listen to the stories making men;

old men, ill men, real men.

Our stories are the constellations

that turn us into stars.

Money does not motivate.

What matters motivates.

Sorry. Did you not hear that?

Did your eyes not see these words?

Nor the pain your people

inflict and inflicted

day after day?

An Inconvenient Truth

that you failed to notice

amongst many other little things.

Look out of your window.

Children laugh and play:

black, white, yellow, red –

language is no barrier.

Cash for grades, you said?

Pah! Switch off your TV

and start to see

reality.

It’s beautiful out there.

See it, hear it, touch it, taste.

Feel the truths you know inside.

Pick up a pen and

start to sketch your heart’s desire.

Everyone can draw, you know.

You are all artists and

you all have the power

to let the beauty you love

be what you do.

Jo Parfitt

November 24^th 2011

Details of painting by Nancy J. Adler as appearing in her Leadership Insight journal (Routledge, 2010). Text inspired by Adler’s article: “Leading Beautifully: The Creative Economy and Beyond”, Journal of Management Inquiry, 20(3) September 2010: pp. 208-221.

I spoke to Angela Williams, who writes as Susan Carey not only about the Writers Abroad online writers’ circle to which she belongs, but also about their newest anthology of fine writings, called Foreign Flavours. The organisation provides support and inspiration for a group of writers all over the world and this is their second anthology, published by Lulu. It has a foody theme, which suits me fine, and there are lots of really great recipes in the book too, for unusual delights such as Indian idli and a Turkish pear and quince dessert. My chat with Angela, who lives in Amsterdam will whet your appetite. In addition, you get a sneak preview into her own novel, which will be about one of my other favourite topics (apart from food) – bellydancing.

Listen to her interview here